Well it does for me. First you're keeping busy, busy, busy, filling your time with this and that, trying to think that what you're doing is terribly important to the survival of your family, your friends, humanity in general until finally, you realise you've been sitting on your ass in front of facebook for 10 minutes, repeatedly refreshing, just waiting to see if anyone else is doing anything interesting. Yep, that is when you know, well, when i know that i've been terribly bored all this time and trying to ignore it.
It's not like i haven't been having fun. I have been. Heaps of it! I've been entertaining, being entertained, going hither and nither, drinking coffee, out to lunches, playdates for my child and living it up.
But all the while, in the back of my mind is this nagging feeling, like a tick tock clock saying, you're bored, you know it. you're bored, you know it.
But do i? Do i really know it? I mustn't really, really know if it i'm still flaffing around doing the same things and not really trying very hard to do much else. Not really wanting to do much else. Trying to convince myself that life is good and exciting and so much fun, i haven't the time to find anything else to do.
And there's maybe a shift in my mindset that needs to happen. That being around for my darling daughter is the most important thing i could do. And seeing as she's the only one, perhaps i should put in a teeny bit more effort when it comes to raising her. Perhaps i need to convince myself that it is the most important thing in the world to make sure she has healthy meals and learns to read and is taught to be a lovely little thing, polite and kind and happy with herself. Because it is. It really is the most important thing in the world. I know it in my head. Nothing else matters.
But still, nagging feeling in the back of my head. Maybe i just need to keep doing what i'm doing until it goes away.
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