Babies are a miracle. They are these tiny little things that just popped out of a person's belly and are allovasudden thrust into the world and expected to live and survive. They are amazing. I say this as I walked down the halls of Raffles Hospital where, yes folks, I've been admitted and am spending another night.
Reason? Well, I guess there is not much wrong with me. Everything seems to be going well. Just that yesterday, it was aweful. Nausea, vomitting, feeling so anxious and outrageously incompetent of keeping myself together that I finally emailed my doctors and here i am. Cost of ignoring my day to day responsibilities for a day or two? Who the hell knows. I bet it'll be over $5k. But you know what, keeping me safe... Priceless.
So back to babies who are a miracle. They are amazing and I have one growing in my belly. I have one which is a gift of God. How could I not be amazed myself and grateful that I been given this little person to take care of! I need to remember that. I've walked down these halls and seen these little miracles, cuddled in ecstatic grandparents arms, with new parents and they are just the sweetest little blessings you can imagine. Who do i have to be so down and depressed about.
Met a new psychiatrist today and she is gorgeous. Mum of 3, though not looking nearly old enough to have even one. She spent a bit of time with me reminding me to be grateful and telling to try and think of a plan of what I need to do rather than feeling overwhelmed by everything. She's not big on drugs which is great for me. And the session did help me. I just think it might just take more time now to retrain my thinking and get myself back to what I used to be.
But i need to do this. I have to do this for myself, my family, my gorgeous child and for everyone who loves me.
I am so lucky to have the things i have. And it is possible. Anything is possible. She shared with me stories of so many people who have done it tougher than me and have become so successful. I need to remember that that is possible for me. I am not trapped. My life is not over just because i'm having another little one. Life can be good and I can enjoy it all again.
I just need to decide to do so and then try. Try harder than i have been. To be grateful and willing to just try to be positive instead of negative. The little miracle inside me depends on it.
Reason? Well, I guess there is not much wrong with me. Everything seems to be going well. Just that yesterday, it was aweful. Nausea, vomitting, feeling so anxious and outrageously incompetent of keeping myself together that I finally emailed my doctors and here i am. Cost of ignoring my day to day responsibilities for a day or two? Who the hell knows. I bet it'll be over $5k. But you know what, keeping me safe... Priceless.
So back to babies who are a miracle. They are amazing and I have one growing in my belly. I have one which is a gift of God. How could I not be amazed myself and grateful that I been given this little person to take care of! I need to remember that. I've walked down these halls and seen these little miracles, cuddled in ecstatic grandparents arms, with new parents and they are just the sweetest little blessings you can imagine. Who do i have to be so down and depressed about.
Met a new psychiatrist today and she is gorgeous. Mum of 3, though not looking nearly old enough to have even one. She spent a bit of time with me reminding me to be grateful and telling to try and think of a plan of what I need to do rather than feeling overwhelmed by everything. She's not big on drugs which is great for me. And the session did help me. I just think it might just take more time now to retrain my thinking and get myself back to what I used to be.
But i need to do this. I have to do this for myself, my family, my gorgeous child and for everyone who loves me.
I am so lucky to have the things i have. And it is possible. Anything is possible. She shared with me stories of so many people who have done it tougher than me and have become so successful. I need to remember that that is possible for me. I am not trapped. My life is not over just because i'm having another little one. Life can be good and I can enjoy it all again.
I just need to decide to do so and then try. Try harder than i have been. To be grateful and willing to just try to be positive instead of negative. The little miracle inside me depends on it.
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