Damn those beaded bitches!

Meaning, the Progesterone that looks like little beads of pearls that i have to insert 3 times a day (don't ask me where). And the damn blue pills. The beaded bitches and the blue pills. Damn them both.

I think the cumulative effect of both drugs have now given me diarrhea. Oh yes, teeny, tiny detail. Pregnant. Knocked up. Which is, of course, why i'm taking the drugs in the first place.

I wish i could have been born with a happy pill. Like i so often say about my husband and most members of his family. Born with a happy pill cause nothing phases him. Never sees the negative. Always happy, happy, happy... It must be genetic.

I, on the other hand must have been born with a pessimistic pill. Cause i almost always think of the worst. Glass is half empty. Uterus is not half full.

So tomorrow, i have a doctors appointment and i'm freaking out cause i'll either see a fluttering heartbeat. Which would be just about the most positive thing that could happen. Or i will see a empty black hole.

But... this is strange... could i have a tiny bit of optimism in me! The good part of the scan tomorrow is that i think i'll know how well or how not well this is going and be able to know how to feel and what to do with this brief chapter in my life. 

For now, i am horribly tired and worn out from the shenanigans of the day. Totally and utterly worn out. With an aweful tummy ache + the runs... and darling husband is out for the night so there is no one to treat me with a little TLC.

So yes, damn those beaded bitches and the blue pills! If they up my dosage any more, i just might go stark raving mad!