Life has a way of screwing you around. Just when you think you've come to terms, moved forward and are making plans for your future, here comes life. Fucking you up once again!
Yesterday, I was staring open mouthed at two pink lines on a HPT. I had to check the packaging to make sure what I was seeing was right! The strongest two pink lines I have ever seen in my life, staring back at me. Holy shit....
Why did I pee on a stick? Cause my period was marginally late and I just thought what the hell. I'm late all the time. And peeing on a stick is always negative and always gets my period to start. Not to mention how terribly infertile we are. Barren. Inconcievable. Duds in procreation...But this time, two pink lines! Two! I counted them. One... Two... There they both were. It is just so impossible. So unbelievable. I chose to think that the sticks were dodgy, ignore the result and continue with my day. Told hubby who last night went out and got a fancy test. One of those digitized ones that will tell you how far along you are.
After some convincing, I peed on the fancy stick but couldn't bear to look at it and gave it to my darling husband who, in 3 minutes, said to me... It says you're 3+.
I say. What the hell does that mean?
He says. It means you are 5 weeks pregnant. (that's based on my last period)
Which of course means that in all probability, this happened while I was reading the second two books of 50 Shades of Gray and we were doing it nightly in various ways.
He says. Goes to prove we weren't doing it enough.
I says. Doesn't prove anything. This can't be happening...
So back to denial. Happy in denial. Denial is safe and it means I don't need to think about the pros, cons what ifs! I like denial.
So this morning after repeatedly telling hubby that I don't know what to do and would like to remain in denial, he tells me to go and get a blood test so we can see if it's viable.
I end up rocking in to the Raffles hospital unannounced. Expecting a runaround and absolutely no help, I'm relieved when a lovely nurse decides to take pity on me and allows me to wait to see a doc without an appointment. V impresses with this hospital. The doc I'm given is lovely and glamorous and does an ultrasound. Staring back at me is a sack. Too early for a fetal heartbeat but it's there... A yolk sack.
I am struck speechless. Doc says. It's there. Confirmed pregnancy. It's definately there.
I am freaking out! I had put this behind me. I was just starting to get my life in some semblance of order! What is going on!
Doc orders a blood test to check my hormone levels and sends me on my way.
I spend the rest of my time in a haze of unbelieving and yelling out what the hell in my head. And sometimes out loud.
And just when I'm starting to believe that this could be real, I get a call that my test results are in. The hormone levels are low. And I need to rush in to get some drugs to help support the pregnancy. Scheduled another blood test for Thurs.
So here I am. Back at waiting and everyone knows how much I hate waiting!!!
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