I wish I had something interesting to blog about.

I wish I had something interesting to blog about. I have had a most impromptu and fun filled day. But fun is not interesting. Pain and angst is. And I haven't had much of that since my life has continued... Post IVF.

I have decided to Skype Dr D. I suppose that could be interesting... When i emailed about my period, she wrote saying how sorry she was and maybe we could Skype and talk over what "had gone right and what not so right"... Excuse me! If something was not so right, why am I finding out about this now!!!

So I thought i would leave it. Because, I've moved on and I'm strong. But ever so often it gets me. Well, not me totally. I mostly feel like I dodged a bullet - personally. But it gets me that my beautiful child will never have a brother or sister. I feel like I have let her down and I'm so sad at times.

And there is sometimes that nagging feeling in the back of my head that wonders why this didn't happen for me. Will of God and not meant to be - sure, but maybe if I talk to Dr D, she will tell me something I didn't know.

So I'll schedule a Skype with her. For "closure". But I pray that it doesn't give me a reason to keep trying to have a baby. As sad as I am for my child is as glad as I am for me to be able to get on with things. (Even though it means I have nothing very interesting to blog about for a while.)