OMG, i've become a fat and lazy cow

OMG, i have become a fat and lazy cow! When did this happen? Oh yep, that's right, i think i've always been like this but buried it under a mound of work and self importance. When running my own business, i could always be busy and relevant, therefore, not a fat and lazy cow. But now that i'm a wannabe tai tai, the fat and lazy is becoming very obvious.

I say wannabe because: Tai tai (太太) is a Chinese colloquial term for a wealthy married woman who does not work.


And i am very far from being wealthy. And really, i have been doing some work this week. I can see the snowball rolling down the hill and picking up speed and in 3 months, i bet i'll be right back where i was a couple years ago. Not bad considering it took me 10 years to build up my business, 1 month to shut it down and now i could have it all back in a frighteningly short amount of time. I'm a lucky, lucky woman. BUT remember, fat and lazy cow... I really don't know if i want it all back.


Yesterday i found myself on a beach drinking mojitos and eating chicken curry with baguette. Today, dinner with a dear friend, interrupted by a tiny bit of work, but not too much. Now home, i'm looking around and thinking why the hell do i have clean up? Everyone else has someone to do it for them. So why the hell don't i? I just want to get into my PJ's and watch some TV in bed. And i think i will.


Tomorrow though, i'm gonna be pissed as hell that i didn't pull my finger out and get some stuff done. I'll have work to finish, child to mind, dishes to wash and i'm gonna be mad. And what could be worse than a fat and lazy cow? A MAD, fat and lazy cow... Hubby picked the best week of all to head off to Mumbai. He must have known that his silly wife would procrastinate early this week then be consumed by stress for the rest of it, cursing her luck at having work to do and pissed to have dishes to wash and house to clean and resentful at having no one around to support her.


I am in love with the idea of being a lady of leisure. Not having to work but meeting friends for coffee, brunch or lunch. Keeping a "helper" at home to do all the cooking and cleaning. I've been obsessed with the idea of having a helper for the longest time, finally deciding that i didn't need one, but then really, really wanting one just to do all the stuff a fat and lazy cow would not want to do. I make the decision not to have a helper almost daily. Then i meet up with some true tai tais and again, i'm obsessed with getting one. But then i know i don't need one and really, i can't afford one. But then if i worked, i could get one. But then i'd have to give up all my lunches and brunches and playdates. Vicious and frivolous circle i'm in. And you know what, i'm feeling too fat and lazy right now to care.