Last needle!

Hooray! This ordeal is officially over - kinda. I stuck in my last needle tonight. It's the 2nd shot of Pregnyl which will help maintain my lining. Last time I had that horrible crinone gel twice a day. Ew yuck! So I asked for the Pregnyl this time and now I'm done.

So all there is to do is wait and wonder. An absolute mental game of back and forth. To and fro.

Right now, I'm good. I have options on either side so if I just stay away from the crappy thoughts like if it doesn't work, I've wasted a ton of money. Or if it does work, what if I can't hack being a mother of two. Truthfully, the thought of it scares the crap out of me! But if it doesn't work, will my darling daughter live a sad a lonely, siblingless life?

And then there's all the things I should and should not do right now like soft cheeses, coffee, deli meat, hot baths and on and on.

So! Here is what I am doing. I know I owe it to us to do everything that I can but if it's a choice between being relaxed and happy vs being anal and uptight, I'm gonna take the relaxed option. In my heart I just feel like it's more of a case of 'if it's meant to be, it's meant to be...' after everything, I've seen and read and heard of so many things that there is no rhyme or reason to procreation. It's random and for people like me, painfully unfair.

There are a few little weird things I'm doing. Mostly based on traditional Chinese Medicine that I did with Leela last time)

Eating pineapple

Avoiding wheat and dairy - not religiously, but just not making them main parts of my diet - I don't stress too much about this

Sticking with warm foods and away from icy cold things - apparently staying warm is important - and again, I'm not terribly strict on this.

Putting a slightly warm hot bean bag on my belly - again, with the warm theme.

And that's about it.

And now I'm so happy to be going home to the love of my life and settling back into a normal routine and not living out of a suitcase... Though I was tempted when someone mentioned an apartment in Paris for two months at $1000 euros a month. But I suppose if I'm counting my pennies, I'd pick Italy over France any day.