Peed on a stick... now i do not know what to do.

I peed on a stick. I've done it twice. Last night and this morning and it is definately negative. I don't think it was too early to test. Even though our blood test isn't due til Sunday. We had tested for Leela and found out this early for her. I'm just waiting for my period to come now.

It's all so hard. I mean, i was completely happy with my decision to go home early and have one child and just be content with that. I was happy, so, so thrilled and relieved to know that i would be homeward bound in a matter of days.

But looking at that empty window on that plastic stick, i can't help but wonder if another cycle is worth it. I mean, what would be so bad. It's only 20 something injections, 4 blood tests, 3 internal ultrasounds, egg collection and transfer, 20 days from start to finish (before the waiting) and i did it alone last time. i could do it again. Definately not in hornsby but i could easily live somewhere else, just pay for it, and do another cycle quite easily.

Sure i could have just done 2 cycles in the comfort of my home in Singapore for the price i'd pay to live somewhere now for the next 20+ days. But i'm here now. I've done one and i keep remembering that Leela was a back to back cycle 2 baby. It's still not a guarantee that we would be successful and at the end of it, i would have to live like a nun and not spend any money cause it will have been spent.

But wouldn't it be worth it? I know G would like me to try again. I can see it in his eyes. While he's saying he'd love to have me home and he is happy with my decision. I can see it. He wants me to do another cycle. He would like another baby. Me, i'm not as definitive about my need for another child, but it's still hard.

I don't know what to do...